I’ve been following the discussion around the weightloss drug Ozempic. One side condemns the use of the drug and accuses overweight people of a lack of self-discipline and willpower, and the other side justifies the use of the drug by saying that it was the last possibility and an opportunity to lose weight when all the different ways have been tried and used throughout life. Mechanical approach describes the whole conversation. People are seen only through a mechanical lense. Others require tougher grips and self-discipline, and others look for superficial ways to lose weight permanently. Is this all there is? I think we have distanced ourselves and forgotten the most essential thing that could change the whole course of life.
The way we see, experience and relate to the world is already formed in childhood. We have experienced various events and situations throughout life that shape who we are. With years and age, we change, but we may carry certain traumas and challenging series of events within us, which manifest themselves as various dysfunctions throughout life. They might be communication problems in close relationships, harmful habits or addictions. Childhood wounds constantly cause us to act in a harmful way, even when it is not in our best interest. Certain familiar situations trigger a stressful situation where we have no connection with ourselves and act impulsively to make ourselves feel better. When we can’t access our deeper self, we can’t access these harmful habits.
It is important to remember that trauma does not necessarily mean serious events or accidents that result in certain dysfunctions. Just the word trauma makes us avoid the whole topic and back away from the conversation. We can have traumas, even if we thought we had a perfectly balanced childhood. Trauma can be, for example, the fact that in our youth we have adopted the idea that we are not enough as we are or that we are not worthy. We act and live from this assumption, we try to change ourselves to fit the mold and we push ourselves to exhaustion. The endless search for love and approval makes us continue to chase love from external things or achievements. We hide our true selves under different layers because we are protecting our sensitive and vulnerable innermost selves.
When we become aware of our true self and our environment and circumstances, we see these recurring dysfunctions and can make conscious choices that create new habits that better serve us. When we become aware of our unconscious habits, we empower ourselves to make choices that set the stage for lasting change. When you become aware of the effects of trauma or life events on your actions, you gain access to new choices that are more of your true self.
When we understand and are aware of the body’s functions, signals and messages, we can regulate the nervous system more consciously, which often keeps us disconnected from the inner and outer world. It is good to understand that this process can take years. Many of us are aware of the body’s needs at a basic level, but even many people in the wellness industry find it difficult to recognize what is happening inside the body and how these functions are connected to our nervous system and to different behaviors and habits. The stress and traumas inside us make it difficult to recognize daily habits and activities, because the mind is constantly racing with the worries and challenges of the future from the experiences of the past. In order to feel safe even for a moment, we cut off the connection with our body and also with our emotions. Childhood experiences of shame, the inability to have compassion for oneself and one’s own body can lead to neglect of one’s self and body, and ultimately these harmful habits only lead to a deeper inability to calm and balance our emotions. We run away from everything we feel is harmful to familiar patterns of action because it feels safer. Either with extreme discipline or recklessness and impulsiveness. It’s easier not to think, numb and not connect with yourself.
What happens when we stop using the weightloss drug? Big risk is that we will slowly go back to the beginning or fall into a dieting cycle again, which is defined by different rules, compulsions and restrictions. We live in a constant state of nervous system stress and fight against ourselves, led by the fear that the weight will come back. Often overweight people have a disturbed hormonal regulation of hunger or satiety, which affects the messages that the body gives or fails to give.
Weight management is a good example of the fact that we need to do a deeper work with ourselves in order to change direction, otherwise there is a big risk that the change will not be permanent and sustainable. Understanding body awareness and the body-mind connection, being honest with yourself, forgiveness and acceptance is a challenging process that requires time. On the other hand, it frees you from lifelong shackles and enables you to live a true life to yourself. It’s incredibly empowering and healing to be able to look at yourself with compassion and self-acceptance and make changes from there. When you stop and bring into your life ways to increase awareness of your inner world, the body’s messages and the communication between them, you will be able to work for your body instead of fighting forever and give your body what it really needs.
The first steps how to start to build more self-awareness:
- create some space around you.
- spend time in stillness.
- try to avoid distractions when uncomfortable emotions come up.
- write down your thoughts, even couple of phrases.
- try to concentrate on your breathing when you feel overwhelmed.
In the next article, I will open ways to increase your body and mind connection and what I mean by getting to know your inner world.
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