We have adopted a mentality of a superhuman. We no longer even see how much we have things going on in life. A lot of doing has become our “default-mode,”our the normal way of working. We are always busy and talk a lot about it. Being busy has become our identity, our way of living. After the peak years, different trendy hobbies, tennis and triathlon, as well as self-development begin. We need to get back to the pace of working life, otherwise we will fall into the group of those who have failed. It seems like from that little feeling of pressure and haste, we get a dopamine rush that addicts us to the cycle of doing and doing.
Inside, however, a feeling of emptiness and the feeling that something important is missing is crawling in. Achievements and accomplishments lose their flair when they are achieved. So it’s time to set new goals, after which the same emptiness will again take over life. This may continue from adolescence to adulthood. First, we rush out of school and into working life, where we create a career, start a family, build a house, develop a career, invent new hobbies, decorate a leisure home and the list goes on.
The problem is that society and our living environment support this kind of activity and the constant moving forward. You will be admired for diligence and being a striver. The constantly developing technology is bringing more and more information at an ever-increasing pace and amount, making the amount of information and stimuli enormous. The brain is in a state of constant load. Already during your studies, you need to know where you want to be as an adult and start to walk this path forward purposefully. When you are never able to stop and think in peace about your own direction of life, how can you be aware of whether the things you are doing are really yourself? Without realizing it, you live a life built on external expectations, desires and thoughts. We are being trumpeted everywhere this formula of a certain kind of ‘real’ life, which is what everyone should build. This life involves certain choices, things and events. We then tick these “real” life boxes until retirement age, wondering why nothing really feels like anything. Everything is fine outwardly, but inside a constant emptiness is dug up.
The brain has been conditioned our whole lives to a certain kind of information without us even noticing it.
The meaning of life is not fulfilled by performing or achieving things that are not internally important to us. The dopamine rush will not last long and past achievements will be forgotten. Stronger doses of dopamine are needed to feel pleasure. We inevitably age, and no one can hustle like when they were young. So something in this calculation doesn’t work. You should start thinking about life in a completely different way than before. What is relevant after all?
If all your external achievements, titles, wealth and statuses were taken away from you, who would you be and how would you build meaning in life? At first, it may seem strange and harsh, because we build so much life on external things. However, very soon, you start to realize how much more liberating it is, the less there is everything. You’re not in such a hurry anymore, and people don’t want your favors anymore. The fake friends disappear. Suddenly, there is time left for you to hear your own thoughts and be able to be present with yourself. You begin to hear your true inner voice and who you really are. The secret of life lies in the fact that life is in the present moment. Not in the past, and certainly not in the future. No external achievements are going to bring you pleasure for a longer period of time, so you need to find more sustainable ways. What if you were looking for it in relationships, from being more present and from doing good or helping others?
Do you need some help to sort your life out, to find what really is important? Do you think your life don’t have a clear direction? In all of your questions, contact me and let’s have a chat!
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